astrological event, autumn, behaviour, clouds, crows, cruelty, expansion, expectations, fall, fountain, human, humanity, miracles, mirroring, perception, pigeons, psychology, reality, reason, release, September 23d 2017, shadow, shadow integration, stars, sunset, symbolic, truth, Universe, why, zodiac, Zodiac Fountain
I was almost sorry for not being outside all day yesterday, because of the pure spectacle that had been unfolding continuously on the sky, as seen from my apartment. Finally, around 6:30 P.M., managed to get out of the house, and by divine grace got an Uber car with a sunroof, which was open during my ride to the place I was meeting a friend for dinner. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face, while the clouds offered an even bigger show, reflecting the colors of a perfect, beautiful September sunset, in pink, blue and orange.
I found out the name of fountain in the center of the Plaza that the restaurant we were going to was near to, only hours before I left. It is amazing to me how synchronizations align in my experience to let me know I’m on the right path, all day, every day, more acutely as the years pass. I wrote about the September 23d’s powerful astrological alignment in the previous two posts. So naturally, I was finding myself in front of the Zodiac Fountain, sitting on a bench, right in front of me the sign of Aries, the first sign, peeking through the falling water. As I was focusing on the beauty of this day and setting, I got centered and simply felt at peace, as one who made peace with herself many years ago, and strives to maintain it since, should. The sky was moving, colors were changing, more beautiful, warm, glorious, every second, as the last rays were encompassing this part of the planet. The water was hypnotizing, it mirrored the color changes of the sky, the sound of the continuous flow was soothing, the temperature was that of a cooling fall day at sunset. There were a few people around, also enjoying the magic of the place, as the tall, heavy, metal street clock started singing to signal 7 o’clock sharp. As much as I tried focusing on all of these peaceful, positive aspects, couldn’t ignore the presence of a congress of crows gathered around the fountain as well. They were particularly large… also a crossbreed with a lighter color feather type of bird, maybe pigeon? They were flying in short bursts or just walking, and were pretty noisy… Noticed a headless bird cadaver on the sidewalk as I was going to sit down, and thought it was a dead crow. But as I sat on the bench, a few steps away, I saw a crow landing on it and starting to feed off of it. At first I was confused, thinking that crows shouldn’t eat crows, but soon realized it was a pigeon, not a crow. I tried to shift my focus off on other things, because the scene was raw and disturbing, and I was kind of tired from the week before, and I felt the need to not absorb anymore dense, heavy energies. Stayed for a few more minutes, until the sun was down completely and left for the restaurant.
This morning, while doing my morning ritual, that uneasy scene came back to me, like it was trying to tell me I should ponder on it one more time, because it has something to tell me. And I realized that the detail I found most disturbing was that the crow was feeding from the corpse while sitting on it, its claws firmly holding it… and I realized that crows only have their legs and beaks to eat with… so they’ve adapted their eating style to their own body shape… and remembered a few stances other fellow humans infringed pain and feed off of other human’s souls, in recent events, personal and around the world… It’s not because they deliberately choose to do it, but it’s because they perceive themselves as being forced by their own, again, perceived limitations, to do so. They don’t see any other way and they think their very survival depends on them being and behaving like that. It’s never a matter of real cruelty, it’s a matter of simply not knowing better and fear. It seemed symbolic to me how we as humanity still have a lot of shedding of dense and negative debris to do. Moments of integrating the shadow are not possible without understanding why, before panicking in front of what we perceive as unwanted. It’s all part of us, nothing is really separated, nothing will ever be really lost, it’s just a continuous expansion and evolution of the parameters of the outside traits of this reality, as we expand internally, realizing the extent of our own capacity to encompass all of it at once.
Maybe, releasing our attachment to unrealistic expectations from those who can’t see beyond their own shadow will also help prevent unnecessary conflicts.
An open mind and an open heart truly can do wonders. It’s up to each of us.
2X, above, abstract, armour, awareness, behaviour, below, breath, collage, consciousness, digital, duality, ego, holding on, human, infinite, letting go, love, mirror, moment, own, ownership, pattern, property, protection, reality, reflection, soul, stripes, subconscious, time, woman, X2
appearance, blocks, bus, change, city, concrete, cycle, dissolve, fear, flare, human, love, meditation, new, now, past, rails, reality, reflection, reveal, road, shadow, shape, street, summer, time, tram, transformation, truth, urban
30s, blocks, blue star, city, coffee, depression, dream, Earth, future, illusion, lens, magic, mental, mimic, perception, reality, reflection, self, self actualization, skyline, street, subconscious, time, transformation, urban, window
I look out the same window over on the other side of the street, at the same tall, 8 stories high blocks, every morning, every day, every night, for the past 11 years. Most of them have a new coat of paint, the narrow roads between them got better with time, the trees got taller… Mainly silent, mostly early to sleep. Some new roof tops appeared at some point, over the old skyline of my view. Other than that, nothing really changed, and as I was preparing my late coffee, trying to figure out how near of far the rain was going to be, since that was going to decide my entire schedule in the next couple of hours, a peculiar feeling started slowly transcending from my subconscious into my mental chatter… Something seemed different, like someone had changed the lens on my viewpoint, not sharpening it, but stripping it of something I didn’t know before. I remembered how I use to feel about these blocks… they looked like anything was possible, like every life unfolding within their walls, every destiny behind those yellowish or dark windows, could be made into a movie, or at least, a string of photo albums. I felt like I was potentially missing out millions, if not more, of magic captured moments. As time passed, that feeling slowly faded, as I was becoming more familiar with all the details… some unchanged, some new for a while, but nonetheless with the same configuration, until one day it disappeared completely, leaving room for a subdued sorrow, the type that looks like the lack of magic… something similar to the lack of a sense of future. It happened so slowly, I almost missed it. My spirit didn’t though, my bones neither. I almost believed this is how your 30s are supposed to feel like, more settled, like you now know shit, and nothing really holds any mystery anymore. And partly it’s true, there are many places which you do know better. But even the places you think you know inside and out, still hold mysteries, and their discovery is yet to come. The truth is, I still know nothing about these blocks I see every day. Nothing was ever lost, it was just a trick of the mind, that sees the same object in its place, day after day, and mimics it unconsciously, while still measuring that against the knowing that the core of life is not sameness, but transformation. The unfolding of this truth finally found its respite on the now perceived reflections of a denser structure.
And I, dancing with the unfolding of that realization, on this suspended blue star, at equal distance between what comes to be and what is a mere illusion, the dream that dies into a thousand other dreams.
"The basis of life is Freedom, the purpose of life is Joy" - Abraham
You came here to feel joy, in the expansion of your own consciousness.
You can’t escape it, one of its waves contains you already. And that’s a good thing.
above, apparent, appearance, apple, below, bus, city, creation, feeling, inward, Law Of Attraction, life, meaning, mirror, mood, objective reality, old lady, orange, outward, principle, reality, reflection, relationship, resonance, road, simple, street, subjective reality, thought, urban, vibration, window, yellow
Abraham, acceptance, allow, antimatter, appearence, appreciation, awareness, being, body, bungee jumping, clouds, collage, contrast, cosmic, death, dis-ease., disease, doing, evolution, existence, expansion, human, June, living in the mind, manifestation, matter, mind, moment, mood board, mood boards, nature, nonphysical, pear, petty, physical, physical plane, protection, rațional, rampage, random, real, reality, reason, red, saturated, science, sky, soul, sour cherry, still life, summer, time, trees, Universe
We get so caught up in the physical and the mind, we forget that there was and always will be something before them, something no physical or rational demonstration could equal it.
Life doesn’t wait for science to catch up with it.
We worry about all the apparent aspects, trying to trim the already manifested, because we’re taught that we should make a smooth transition between us and the things that we come in contrast with, and we get so good at it over the years, that we forget the contrast is meant to be there, to help us remember what we do want. And in the end nobody remembers how to do the real us… Then, of course, we have more stuff to worry about, getting lost in petty things that aren’t helping us or the ones around us, except maybe for future reference. But aren’t we saturated with the history of how life could go wrong?
Time wouldn’t be made of moments, unless we were meant to live in the moments. Not the bungee-jumping-living in the moment type, but the accepting-appreciating-and-allowing-it-to-expand-living in the moment type.
The protection we think we get by analyzing and preparing all the time is ultimately also a protection from expansion, which is how the Universe works, since the beginning of time, when the first cosmic breeze lifted a speckle of matter and antimatter into what was the predecessor of what we call reality. Until we understand that expansion, we will still face the thriving of unwanted things in our lives, through dis-eases of the body or dis-eases of the soul.
But then again, that is the path of our own evolution, and we are becoming more aware of it, bit by bit. Everything that exists in your life made you, even before you were a thought of future manifestation. What comes into your life is called by you and the ones you know, or by the ones that want to know you. Even death has a way of making your existence matter.
Don’t waste time. Don’t waste your moments. There is no reason to 🙂
actual, apparent, appearence, beyond, comtemplation, consciousness, evolution, future, human, measure, meditation, nonphysical, physical, present, questions, real, reality, sense, sensors, separation, subconscious, temporary, thought, unseen, wonder, world
We call physical something that we can sense and measure. But if our sensors became more refined, we would probably sense what today call nonphysical, and thus the separation we once tought was real would disappear and we would be forced to call the thing a different name. I wonder what would it be.
30s, 32, Abraham, align, bacon, brain, Chakra, evening, food porn, happy, humna, intelligence, journal, low protein, meditation, moment, movies, nature, negative spiral, note, now, OBE, projecting, reality, relax, rhythms, self, spiritual, spring, sun, thought, toxic, update, winter
Be happy where you are now, with what you have.
This was a day with a spring scent. Information from the weekend still settling down in my brain. Didn’t get to make pancakes. But tomorrow is another day. Saw a few clips on OBE, got my Abraham fix and managed to make a short trip in the sun in the afternoon. I’m still trying to figure out who had this idea of us humans getting inside these opaque boxes for most of our day, in which little sunshine, little fresh air gets in… We miss the rhythms of the nature, in our eyes, and ears, and pores… but we don’t know it yet. OK, some of us do, but most still don’t unfortunately… Ate low in protein at breakfast and lunch, and by the time I got back home had extreme fantasies with some… you know… bacon. Then got them fulfilled. Then had my second quarter of glass of wine this year and saw a short movie. And just like that, my day is over. Not my day, but my fuel. This is what 32 feels like. How am I supposed to handle a boyfriend or a pet? My phone is kinda kinky. He says “touch to update google hangouts” and stuff… I don’t use more than half that crap. I’m afraid to “touch”. Lol. It might update things I didn’t even know existed before :)))) This is how you know you’re getting old. Faster than how people got old 30 years ago. So anyway, I started wishing for a lot of things, you know, that feeling you have when the day is almost over and you didn’t do much. At least I didn’t drop my bag in the mud, like I did on Friday. No more aftermath washing. And even though your body can’t take it, you still send the commands. That’s what got me into a two months in bed health issue this winter. So, yeah, adjustments time! And after your brain realizes it is not in shape for some proactive awesome proof of human intelligent capacity – I mean even that was kinda hard to write – it goes: “hey, how about a movie? It’s still some type of cultural act, or at least it could be, 10 years from now.” So I said to myself I can’t do this shit all the time. This projecting of what could have been is highly toxic and negative spiral inducing. So how about just being extremely happy with things exactly the way they are? After all not one moment has ever contained the perfect ingredients or perfect outcome. There are always seeds of improvement in anything that exists in our reality, and even the realities to which we measure our own. I think when that impeccable moment comes, all life will cease to exist. So maybe it was the wine, maybe all the spiritual practices I’ve been endeavoring in – including some chakra aligning – although I’m sure it was both, but I just decided to relax, let the usual feeling pass through me instead of resisting it, and got really grateful for all the wonderfully crappy and unbearably, food-porn-like-good things in my life. And I think I heard my brain say thank you. :)) Yes, our efforts should settle by the time the sun checks in on the other side of the planet. But we never seem to get that. Sometimes I have the feeling we race computers. What a sad specie we are.
But getting back to my initial thought stream… how can we be happy with more, tomorrow, if we don’t know how to be happy with what we have today? The Now contains everything we need. Every moment is another teacher of that. Ah! The taste of non-self-persecution!
This is probably one of my most journal-like posts since I started the blog. I wonder how will all this sound in the morning… I should make tea.
Yeah, this was supposed to be a short note. Better luck next time I guess.