Believing in separation is the strongest catalyst for conflict. Shame, blame and guilt are some of separation’s ugly sides and traps.
I was almost sorry for not being outside all day yesterday, because of the pure spectacle that had been unfolding continuously on the sky, as seen from my apartment. Finally, around 6:30 P.M., managed to get out of the house, and by divine grace got an Uber car with a sunroof, which was open during my ride to the place I was meeting a friend for dinner. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face, while the clouds offered an even bigger show, reflecting the colors of a perfect, beautiful September sunset, in pink, blue and orange.
I found out the name of fountain in the center of the Plaza that the restaurant we were going to was near to, only hours before I left. It is amazing to me how synchronizations align in my experience to let me know I’m on the right path, all day, every day, more acutely as the years pass. I wrote about the September 23d’s powerful astrological alignment in the previous two posts. So naturally, I was finding myself in front of the Zodiac Fountain, sitting on a bench, right in front of me the sign of Aries, the first sign, peeking through the falling water. As I was focusing on the beauty of this day and setting, I got centered and simply felt at peace, as one who made peace with herself many years ago, and strives to maintain it since, should. The sky was moving, colors were changing, more beautiful, warm, glorious, every second, as the last rays were encompassing this part of the planet. The water was hypnotizing, it mirrored the color changes of the sky, the sound of the continuous flow was soothing, the temperature was that of a cooling fall day at sunset. There were a few people around, also enjoying the magic of the place, as the tall, heavy, metal street clock started singing to signal 7 o’clock sharp. As much as I tried focusing on all of these peaceful, positive aspects, couldn’t ignore the presence of a congress of crows gathered around the fountain as well. They were particularly large… also a crossbreed with a lighter color feather type of bird, maybe pigeon? They were flying in short bursts or just walking, and were pretty noisy… Noticed a headless bird cadaver on the sidewalk as I was going to sit down, and thought it was a dead crow. But as I sat on the bench, a few steps away, I saw a crow landing on it and starting to feed off of it. At first I was confused, thinking that crows shouldn’t eat crows, but soon realized it was a pigeon, not a crow. I tried to shift my focus off on other things, because the scene was raw and disturbing, and I was kind of tired from the week before, and I felt the need to not absorb anymore dense, heavy energies. Stayed for a few more minutes, until the sun was down completely and left for the restaurant.
This morning, while doing my morning ritual, that uneasy scene came back to me, like it was trying to tell me I should ponder on it one more time, because it has something to tell me. And I realized that the detail I found most disturbing was that the crow was feeding from the corpse while sitting on it, its claws firmly holding it… and I realized that crows only have their legs and beaks to eat with… so they’ve adapted their eating style to their own body shape… and remembered a few stances other fellow humans infringed pain and feed off of other human’s souls, in recent events, personal and around the world… It’s not because they deliberately choose to do it, but it’s because they perceive themselves as being forced by their own, again, perceived limitations, to do so. They don’t see any other way and they think their very survival depends on them being and behaving like that. It’s never a matter of real cruelty, it’s a matter of simply not knowing better and fear. It seemed symbolic to me how we as humanity still have a lot of shedding of dense and negative debris to do. Moments of integrating the shadow are not possible without understanding why, before panicking in front of what we perceive as unwanted. It’s all part of us, nothing is really separated, nothing will ever be really lost, it’s just a continuous expansion and evolution of the parameters of the outside traits of this reality, as we expand internally, realizing the extent of our own capacity to encompass all of it at once.
Maybe, releasing our attachment to unrealistic expectations from those who can’t see beyond their own shadow will also help prevent unnecessary conflicts.
An open mind and an open heart truly can do wonders. It’s up to each of us.